is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
pray to the hookup gods
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
