I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
