I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize