All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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