All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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