plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How external is "for external use only"?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
