you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
