This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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