dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
