If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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