Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
