In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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