HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
