What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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