i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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