If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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