Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
