i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
