Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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