i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
