I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
