At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
