I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
