He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
