i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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