Only a mothe r could love this liver
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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