Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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