you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
