he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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