So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
