Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
