but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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