where does the pee come out of this thing
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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