im about as happy as oj after his trial
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
