I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
