idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
