I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize