Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
