oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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