sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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