Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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