I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize