I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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