Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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