So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
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No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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