Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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