Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
