Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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