New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
