Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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