I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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