Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
