Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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