Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
