Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
