I think im going to throw up on grandma
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize