i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
