Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
