Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have fence marks all over my body
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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