puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
