i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
