Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize