We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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