we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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