I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she told me i tasted like america
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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