Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
