i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
