She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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