im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
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He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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