Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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