Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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